Tag Archives: new start

The Reversed Cinderella Complex

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Well, as I am writing this post, it is January 2, the day after New Year’s Day. And as I am writing, I am wondering how many people are suffering from what I call; the Reversed Cinderella Complex. Do you remember what happened at the stroke of midnight in the story of Cinderella? The Fairy God-mother had already told Cinderella that she had to be back home before the stroke of midnight because, at midnight, the magic spell would wear off and everything, including her beautiful gown and the golden chariot would turn back into what they were before the spell was cast. Well, you know the story, Cindy was having such a good time at the ball, that she lost track of time! She was barely out before the stroke of midnight, when her beautiful gown turned back into rags and her grand chariot reverted back into a pumpkin!

The Reversed Cinderella Complex is the opposite of the Cinderella story. For some strange reasons, many people believe something magical happens at the stroke of midnight at the beginning of the New Year. They are energized with new resolve and new determination! They think there will be a substantial (almost magical) change in their situation when December 31 turns into January 1. But alas, after the midnight balls and the midnight church services, even as early as January 2, reality sets in! They discover there was no magical or miraculous change, their dream-gown is still a regular dress and their grand chariot in their dreams is still the same old pumpkin they drive every day! Yes! For most people, the only change that occurs between the last day of December and the first day of January is the change on the calendar!

As much as we like to believe in the Cinderella fairy tale, the truth is; real change is not magical, real change is work! As I’m writing this post, my social media feeds are still flooded with wishes of a Happy New Year. But, I understand that the New Year will not be happy just because of ‘wishes’ for it to be so! The New Year will not even be ‘new’ if there is no effort to make it new! Neither will the New Year be happy if that happiness is only determined by what happens! My point is, there is really nothing magical about the New Year! If we want the New Year to be ‘happy’ and ‘new,’ then we must, in the words of Captain Picard of Star Trek; “Make it so!”

Changes do not magically or mysteriously happen! Changes do not occur by themselves; changes do not make themselves, we must make them! Do you really want a Happy New Year? If you do, then you must work to make it so! You must change to make it so! Perhaps, one of the reasons we often fail so quickly in our New Year resolutions of change, is because we try to do too much at once! We try to tackle more than we can handle at one time. Let me show you what I’m talking about! Some years ago, I made a startling discovery that transformed the way I look at life! I discovered the fact that life can only be lived one moment at a time! There is a gospel song in which the singer asks the Lord to teach them to live one day at a time, but I discovered, that is impossible! We don’t live one day at a time! We don’t live one hour at a time! We don’t even live one minute at a time! We only live; one moment at a time! Therefore, instead of focusing on the year, it would be more practical and beneficial to focus on the moment! Instead being overwhelmed with what we can do this year, focus on what changes we can make in the present moment. The old proverb says the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step! Ask yourself: “What changes can I make right now?” “What can I do differently, in this present moment?”

If we consistently make the effort to change our moments, we will change our minutes! Those moments and minutes, will change hours and days! The changed hours and days, will transform weeks and months! The transformed weeks and months will translate into a transformed year! No! It’s not magic; it’s work! Are you willing to put in the work to actually ‘make’ the New Year a ‘new’ year? You can do it; one moment at a time!

Cycles

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Cycle:

1)   An interval of time during which a sequence of a recurring succession of events or phenomena is completed.

2)   A course or series of events or operations that recur regularly and usually lead back to the starting point.

3)   A circular or spiral arrangement.

 

Well, it’s August 1, 2018 and yesterday was July 31, 2018. Today is the first day of a new month and yesterday was the last day of an old month! Where I live, yesterday was the last day of summer vacation for students and today is the first day of a new school year! All of this reminds me of the fact that life is lived in cycles; and that’s a good thing!

Have you ever thought about what life would be like if there were no cycles? What if a day never ended and there was no night for rest? What if the night was enduring and there was no morning to look forward to? What if the seasons never changed and it was always winter, summer, spring, or fall? We often take it for granted, but every day, we should take time to pause and be thankful for the cycles of life.

The cycles of life provide opportunities for new beginnings. Every morning when I awake and find myself not dead, I am thankful because I understand that to be one of God’s ways of granting me forgiveness for the mistakes and failures I made the day before. Every new day is a new opportunity to ‘get it right!’ Every month is a new cycle! Every year is a new cycle!

But, the problem with many people is that they fail to take advantage of the cycles of life. Instead of taking the opportunity to have a new beginning at a new cycle, they drag the old into the new and make the new just like the old! As they do this, they guarantee their tomorrow will be just as miserable as their today, which was just as miserable as their yesterday! People who do this are stuck in a rut, and I heard someone describing a rut as nothing but a grave with sides but no ends!

I don’t know where you are in your life, I don’t know what you are going through, but I want to encourage you to let this first day of the month remind you of the cycles of life. If you’re in a depressed situation right now, just remember, it’s just part of the cycle! If you’re down, surely and eventually, you will rise again! If you’re in an elevated position right now, be thankful and enjoy it, but also remember to make provisions and plans for the down-time, for the old saying is true: “What goes up, must come down!”

It is the cycles of life that make life interesting and provide opportunities for change, growth, and progress! Life would be boring and monotonous indeed if it were not for the cycles. So, don’t fight the cycles; don’t fight the changes, but rather embrace them and use them to your advantage! Use the cycles to refresh and rejuvenate! Use the cycles to re-evaluate and re-tool! Don’t wait until January 1 to start a new cycle, you can start a new cycle at any time! At the beginning of a new month, at the beginning of a new day, at the beginning of a new hour, and yes, even at the beginning of a new moment! There is an old saying that says we only live one day at a time, but actually, that is not true! We can’t even live a day at a time; we can only live one moment at a time! Thus, even our breathing is part of a cycle; with every breath we take, we have the opportunity to start over again!

I Don’t Need A New Year: I Need A New Me!

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new-year-pic

“For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing”                                                                                                                                Romans 7:18-19 ESV

 “Therefore, if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”                                                                                                                     2 Corinthians 5:17 KJV

“So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.”                                                                                                                                      2 Corinthians 4:16 ESV

 When we were much younger, we used to be really excited about the new year!  Perhaps some of you still are! I mean, after all, it is a time when everybody is on the same page.  We are all thinking about making a fresh start!  We are all thinking about starting all over again!  We are all thinking about setting goals and making this new year better than the last year! But wait a minute! Weren’t we all doing the same thing this time last year? And the year before?  And the year before that?  Haven’t we all been doing the same thing every year, for as long as we can remember? Perhaps the reason some of us are not as excited about the new year as we used to be is because we have lived long enough to experience the disappointments of countless new year’s resolutions that are never kept!  For no matter how excited we were and no matter how good our intentions were, not matter how determined we were, by the middle of January, and if not then, certainly by Valentine’s Day, the thrill, the excitement, the determination, the resolve that was present on New Year’s Eve and on New Year’s Day was long gone! No! Some of us are not particularly excited about the New Year because we have discovered that what is needed is not a new year, but rather a new person!  No! I don’t need a new year; I need a new me!

This is exactly the experience that the Apostle Paul shares with us in the Roman text.  Now we look at Paul’s experience, I would like to suggest to you that Paul is not relating a pre-conversion experience but rather, this was a post-conversion experience for Paul.  Some think that what Paul shares in Romans 7 is the struggle he experienced before he was saved, but a careful look at the text will prove otherwise.  Let me prove my point: First of all, when we look at the grammatical structure of the text, we note that Paul does not use the imperfect or the aorist tenses to describe this ordeal, but rather he consistently uses the present tense.  Paul is not describing what he used to go through, he is talking about the struggles that he is presently experiencing.  Secondly, the person who is not saved, has no real struggles with trying to do the right thing! It is not even on his mind to do right! Doing wrong is so natural, that doing right doesn’t even cross his mind.  Now there are some who would appeal to the fact of the conscience. But even the conscience of an unsaved person doesn’t want to do right.  The Bible says that there is a way that seemeth right to a man, but the ends thereof are the ways of death.  Paul says later on, in this same letter, “For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit.  For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.  Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be.  So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God.”

So, Paul says, I know that in me, that is in my flesh, dwelleth no good thing.” Now, the flesh that Paul is referring to is not his physical body, but rather the unregenerate sin-nature that was present within him.  You see, when we are saved, God does not eradicate or remove our sinful nature, instead He places His Holy Spirit within us, which is His very own nature.  One of the purposes of God’s Spirit within us is to empower us to bring our sinful nature under control. “For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. “But, walk (live according to) by (the power of) the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” Paul said that he died daily. Everyday, the flesh (the sinful nature) has to be crucified. Crucifying the flesh is not something that God does for us, we have to do it ourselves by the power of His Spirit that dwells within us.

Therefore, Paul says, there is a struggle that is going on within me! The will to do is present within me! I want to lose weight! I want to come to Sunday School every Sunday! I want to become more active in my church! I want to be more than just a bench-member at my local church! I really want to; the willingness is there, but the how to and the actual doing of it, is absent! Not only do I struggle to do the things I want to do, but the things I don’t want to do seem to over-power me! I eat too many neck-bones and too much pork! I eat too much and don’t exercise enough! I talk about folks instead of praying for them! Oh! Sometimes I don’t even like myself, because the things I really want to do, I don’t do them and the things I really don’t want to do; I end up doing them! That’s why I’m not really very excited about this new year! Because unless I do things differently, this new year is going to be just like last year and the years before that! I don’t need a new year; I need a new me!

Well, before we get all depressed and give up all hope, there is some good news! Paul said that though it is a struggle, there is an answer to our dilemma! The answer is found “in Christ.”  He said, “If any man be in Christ, he is a new creation: old things have passed away: behold, all things are become new.” Yes! That’s the secret to success for the new year! You must be “in Christ!” What does it mean to be “in Christ?” The term, “in Christ” was a favorite expression of Paul used over seventy times in the Pauline writings.  It refers to status and position. It’s a good place to be! There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ! We have been justified freely by the grace that is in Christ. God causes us to always have the victory in Christ. We are sanctified in Christ.  We are all the children of God by faith in Christ. We shall all be made alive in Christ. The dead in Christ shall rise first. Yes! Everything we need is in Christ!  And so, if we abide in him and his word abides in us, we can ask what we will and it will be done unto us.  In Christ is a good place to be! Paul says, here in this text, that if any many be in Christ, he is a new creation! That is, if you are in Christ, you are a new you! The answer to the dilemma is to translate the position into experience! I am a new me in my position in Christ and through the power of the Spirit of God that lives within me, I can be a new me in my experience in life!

And, if you are a new you, you really don’t need a new year to start something new! For I heard Paul saying on another occasion that though the outward man is perishing, the inward man is being renewed day by day! Do you see that? The new you don’t need a new year to make a fresh start because the new you is being renewed everyday! Yes! That’s why I don’t really get excited about the New Year, because I get excited every morning! Every morning when I wake up and find myself not dead, that’s like New Year’s Day to me! Every morning that I’m able to get up out of my bed and dress myself; that’s like New Year’s Day to me!

So, if you really want to have life and have it more abundantly, don’t wait until the New Year to start over again! It doesn’t matter what day of the year it is, if you just meet Jesus, and get in him, he will make you a new creation! He will make you all over again! He will fix whatever is broken, he will mend all of the broken promises and dreams! When you’ve met him, you really won’t need a new year because he will make you, a new you!